Hold on and Let go
by Hope7
Summary: A oneshot about what may have gone through Katniss's head after losing her sister. She uses the same method as the one she used with her father to get past her grief, but realizes something she never knew before.


**Hi! okay, this is the first story I have ever written that is NOT Legend Of Korra. Please review with questions, comments, _advice_ (but not flames) or anything else. Or you can PM me. I hope you like this story!**

I** don't own The ****_Hunger_**** Games movies, books, _or_** bobble** heads:)**

May the odds be _ever_ in your favor.

I don't know why, or even want to know why this keeps going through my head as I sit, motionless, on the step. All I want to know is why this time. This one time when the odds were NOT in my favor. I survived the unthinkable twice. The odds were with me. I got Peeta back, safe, (at least for now) the odds were with me. And somehow, miraculously, I still have Gale. The odds were with me. Prim is gone. The odds were as far away as they could possibly be. And from what I can piece together, it was friendly fire. Intended friendly fire.

This thought makes my blood boil, but drops back down after a few short seconds. My only sister is gone. The only reason I kept going after Dad died is gone.

It's been Three days. And I wonder how the world can still go on after Primrose is missing. Forever. I do the same thing I do when my father was crushed and killed in the mines.

I hold on, and let go. My mind pushes back to memories long forgotten.

_I laugh. No reason, it just feels right. My baby sister crawls over and collapses into my lap. Her arms twirl, and she has big eyes full of curiosity and wonder, staring up at me. As if she's expecting me to say something. But all I can do is laugh. Prim gurgles, like she is coping me in the best way a six-month old can. That's how our parents find us a minute later, Mom with flour in her hair, Dad with coal dust, it's perfect._ It's_ our family. We all laugh, even though no one knows exactly why._

I linger in that early memory. I hold on. And then let it go. Let it go _away._ I don't know where, maybe into the trees, and wind. Maybe into the rivers and the dust. I select another memory and let it fill my mind.

_Prim smiles wide, to show off the gap in between her teeth as I button the back of the dress where she can't reach. It's her first day at school, and before this I never really realized how much that child could talk. All week The girl had been babbling about the friends she would make, and the lessons she would learn, and how she could become an educated young woman soon enough,_

_"Just like you, Katniss!" She had announced happily. This made me almost glow with pride, even though I knew that her proclamation was far_ from _the truth. Often on the path to school I would become distracted by a flower, or a rabbit, or even a cloud, and I would walk through the school doors maybe an hour late. But now, I promised myself that this would become a thing of the past._

I swallow _hard_ and squeeze my eyes, tight. Why was the point of happiness and joy, if it were only to be replaced later with sorrow, and grief? Why was anyone brought into this world if they were just going to be taken out before their time? I Let this go, hesitantly.

I force myself to move on to the next one.

_Its late. But we aren't asleep. Neither was mom. Even through Two full walls, I can hear mom sobbing outside. Inside Prim is crying softly. She is right beside me in bed, snuggled up so close to me that I was half-afraid I would fall off the side. Her crying fades to whimpering and finally sniffling. She looks up at me and asks, "Why, Katniss?" With her big eyes staring up at me._

_"I don't know." We are silent for a several minutes and then I whisper, "It's okay, I will take care of you." _

One tear falls out of my eye and slips down my cheek. Others threaten to follow. I hold on to that awful day, and it let go. And I think that Prim can't be gone. Not completely. Even if I looked everywhere in the whole world and couldn't find her, she has to be somewhere.

And I realize something that I never knew before. Memories never really leave. Because I know with all my heart that Prim will always be apart of me, in a way that words can't explain.

You hold on to memories, and let them go. Because there is no use clinging to them and trying to live in the past. Many people can't let their memories go, for fear of losing their loved ones entirely, but I let go of these memories easily. Because I know that Prim will never leave me, not really.

**I hope you enjoyed this. Please Reveiw, I don't care about reason, comment, questions, advice, requests, tell me how I did!**


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